1
As any legitimate film critic will tell you, Wes Anderson is…
Fans turn to 2, foes turn to 3.

2
…one of the best filmmakers of an American literary tradition.
Turn to 4, or if you’re curious about what I mean by ‘literary’ turn to 5.

3
…an eye-rolling purveyor of self-satisfied art-wank.
Turn to 4.

4
His new film is perhaps his most ‘Anderson-esque’ yet. It employs a portmanteau structure, essentially divided into three narrative sections.
Fans turn to 6, foes turn to 7.

5
I mean ‘literary’ in the sense of an intellectual air matched with a deliberate affectation of style.
But honestly? I mean Woody Allen. I think there is a clear line of descent from one artist to the other, particularly with regards to Allen’s pre-Annie Hall work. I feel the only reason we don’t talk about it more is because we’re all so awkward at bringing up Allen, because… well, y’know. In fact, combine Woody Allen with the aesthetic of cartoonist Chris Ware, and I feel you’re not a million miles from Anderson’s The French Dispatch.
Turn to 4.

6
It’s an elegant construction. The film draws clear inspiration from The New Yorker, and the short story conceit nicely replicates a magazine format.
Turn to 8.

7
This structure robs the film’s characters of depth, since no single one gets sufficient time.
Turn to 8.

8
The film’s first segment focuses on an incarcerated artist (Benicio Del Toro).
Fans turn to 9, foes turn to 10.

9
Del Toro is always enjoyable to watch, as is Adrien Brody, but the real standout in this segment is Léa Seydoux. Does she suffer from being seen via the male gaze?
Apologists turn to 11, realists turn to 12.

10
Honestly, the film remains charming and enjoyable in this segment. Sure it’s on the nose, but in short doses it does a wonderful job.
Turn to 13.

11
Maybe, but the screenplay balances that with a lot of power and strength.
Turn to 13.

12
Yes.
Turn to 13.

13
The second segment sees a political reporter (Frances McDormand) report on a local student uprising.
Fans turn to 14, foes turn to 15.

14
This segment wins almost single-handedly by McDormand’s performance. It is so dry, and just perfectly pitched.
Turn to 16.

15
The relatively overt way it mocks the idea of student and youth uprisings is just the most tiresome, middle-aged thing.
Turn to 16.

16
And Timothée Chalamet?
Chalamations turn to 17, Chalenemies turn to 18.

17
I have to admit, he does fit in very well with the standard Anderson players like Murray, Dafoe, and Schwartzmann.
Turn to 19.

18
I’ve seen Chalamet in quite a lot of films lately, and this is hands-down the worst work I’ve seen him do. I honestly feel a little sorry for young Timothée, who does seem ridiculously over-exposed at the moment.
Turn to 19.

19
Whether one likes or loathes this part, it does seem to suck a lot of oxygen from the film.
Turn to 20.

20
The final section sees a food critic (Jeffrey Wright) get sucked into a police siege.
Fans turn to 22, foes turn to 23 – unless you want my opinion of Jeffrey Wright at 21.

21
Really, we all need to step back and appreciate what an outstanding actor Jeffrey Wright is.
Fans turn to 22, foes turn to 23.

22
Casting is clearly a key strength of Anderson. This last story also includes Edward Norton, Mathieu Amalric, and Saoirse Ronan.
Turn to 24.

23
The attempt to segue a food review segment into what is essentially the world’s most ironic and structured action sequence feels exhausting. Adding in a narrative frame of Wright being interviewed by Liev Shreiber’s TV journalist doesn’t help.
And here, essentially, is “the thing”.
Turn to 25.

24.
Ultimately, this is a film comedy by a director with a well-defined, confident style, and if you’ve been a fan of his earlier works, you will have a ball with this one.
Turn to 26.

25
In short doses Wes Anderson’s films are genuinely delightful, but it is a tone and an aesthetic that is difficult to sustain. Just as an action film must take breaks between the shoot-outs and car chases so too Anderson’s particular brand of artful comedy needs to give its audience a chance to take a breath.
In the end, I am forced to accept the paradoxical position that I love his filmmaking, but cannot stand his films.
Turn to 27.

26.
You know your tastes. Trust them.
Turn to 28.

27.
Until that changes, here we’re stuck.
But don’t let the Andersonistas get you down.
Turn to 28.

28.